Hmmmm....maybe something about the friends we made along the way would be appropriate here?
| Faction | Played | Won | Lost | Record |
|---|
| When | Opponent | Result |
|---|
Here are some things I jotted down to help them sink in as I learn to play. Kind of like a less extreme version of Guy Pearce's tattoos in that movie Memento.
I've driven past the turn-off to 'Da Path' before. I stopped, reversed up, parked in a nearby loading bay...and taken a tentative step or two down it before I decided I wasn't wearing appropriate footwear, got a bit lost, or realised I'd left the oven on and had to get home quick smart. Now that I'm back, the below levelling system is a fun attempt to keep me on track....let's see how it goes.
Below are (arguably) 10ish levels of Ork evolution, starting as a humble spore and ending somewhere in the vicinity of unstoppable green-skinned demigod. Within each level I've outlined some progression conditions loosely aligned to what I actually want to get out of this hobby. The general gist is simple enough — tick off all the conditions at your current level before moving up. The levels stack, meaning there's no skipping ahead. So if I haven't painted my Combat Patrol, I'm staying a Yoof regardless of what I've achieved above it. No shortcuts. Dis is da path to WAAAAGH!!
What's this all about?
I'm a person. I'm learning to paint and play Warhammer 40,000. I'm enjoying. Here I write about my experience with the hobby, in particular:
- Documenting my progress in turning the pile of expensive grey plastic hidden at the back of my wardrobe into an army of Orks — and improving my mini painting skills from non-existent to moderate-at-best along the way.
- Learning how to play the game to the degree that I'm not causing harm or embarrassment to myself or others.
- Sharing my thoughts on Black Library books and associated lore, particularly Warhammer 40,000 and Horus Heresy.
Who is this for?
Me.
But you might also find it interesting if, like me, any of the below applies to you:
- Your attempts to enter the hobby have resulted in you amassing your own pile of expensive grey plastic.
- You want to learn how to paint to a mediocre standard, play the game to a level where you're not an embarrassment, and build a tabletop army you can be proud of.
- Your 'painting station' is currently a shoebox hidden at the back of your wardrobe — the only place in the house left sacred to you — and it only seems to come out on a solar equinox.
- Your discretionary hobby time is around 1 hour per week at best.
- You're into the lore, dig most of the Black Library output (except the odd train wreck, and anything Age of Sigmar), and enjoy a book review over a cup of tea.
- You spend too much time frothing over other people's work on Reddit — and if you'd spent that time actually painting, you'd have 4,000 points and a Golden Daemon by now.
Why?
I've been an avid reader and listener of Black Library books for a very long time, but despite my best efforts I've never managed to get a fully painted army on the table — let alone play the game.
After a few failures to launch into the tabletop side of the hobby, I've decided to try and overcome my inner pig dog by doing something different.
This remarkably mediocre blog was born to keep me accountable and provide a place to share my progress, as well as my broader love for the hobby.
I also think there are plenty of people out there who may find my experience similar to theirs in some way, and wanted to put something out there that may be of use to fellow travellers.
There are plenty of places you can go to see great Warhammer 40k painting and content. This isn't one of them, but glad to have you here regardless :)
I'm learning my way through this (clearly), so if you have any tips, advice or general feedback I'm all ears. Send me an email at dapathtowaaagh@protonmail.com, or drop your note below and let the machine do it for you...